Does True Contentment Kill Your Ambition?
An exploration into whether contentment, gratitude and joyfulness have a nullifying effect on ambition and drive — or if they have the ability to enhance them.
“I am content; that is a blessing greater than riches; and he to whom that is given need ask no more.” — Henry Fielding
Lately, I've been taking time to practice being really present with all of the good things in my life: the roof over my head, clean water to drink and bathe in, the beautiful companion animals in my house, my new girlfriend, healthy food to eat... the list could go on and on.
And what I've realized about this practice is the feeling that true abundance is consciously receiving that which has already been given.
When I use the word "receiving" it's not about taking the acquisition of a material thing. It's energetically and spiritually receiving it and integrating it into your life. It's allowing yourself to be present to the appreciation for the thing showing up in your life. Allowing yourself to be amazed, surprised and delighted by its presence. Feeling thankfulness flood the cells of your body like a cascade of wonder filling up every corner of your Being.
In this simple, yet profound appreciation for my life, I've discovered that an interesting question has arisen from within:
If I feel this content and joyful with what is... is this feeling of contentment killing my ambition, my drive and my desire in life?
Or, put another way: do I have some belief system that I need to constantly feel like I don't have enough to move me forward in life? To incessantly seek and strive for more?
This internal dialogue hit me like a brick wall.
Perhaps, for years or even decades, my ambition and drive have been fueled by a feeling of never being enough. That once I get enough financial prosperity, or fame, or recognition for my art, or enough sex or enough chocolate covered matcha doughnuts... THEN I'll allow myself to finally be happy.
Which is essentially creating a Sisyphean task for our lives that can never be completed.
For context, I want to share a little Greek mythology with you: Sisyphus was a cruel king who was punished by the Gods to push a large rock up on a steep hill, only to find it rolling back on nearing the top. Ever since he has been known for pushing the rock tirelessly till eternity. The maddening nature of the punishment was reserved for King Sisyphus due to his hubristic belief that his cleverness surpassed that of Zeus himself.
Or, put another way, in the words of singer Aloe Blacc, you keep chasin' the money, but the money don't run.
We have this insane idea in our heads that once we achieve or gain something, happiness will instantly be ours. There are an infinite number of permutations of this insanity:
- Once I lose 25 pounds, then I'll finally love my body
- Bro, when I make a million dollars, I'll be running this shit
- I dunno, I just feel like I deserve the orange Lambo (that's mine - ha!)
- If I could only get my book published, then I'll be a real writer
- When I get that record deal, I'll prove to my family it was worth it
- When I get married, then I'll finally feel lovable
You can see where all this externalization of happiness leads, right?
It's the proverbial rock being pushed up the side of the hill and as we get to the top, the rock rolls back down to the bottom.
Here's an idea: what if we actually practiced BEING happy right NOW?
Even if you're not where you thought you would be by now.
Even if your bank account is in the negative.
Even if you're still not married.
Even if you don't love your body.
Even if you think you're a piece of shit sometimes.
Can you, right now, look for good things to appreciate in your life?
“Happiness is not a goal...it's a by-product of a life well lived.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
Ah, thank you, Eleanor. If we focus on living a good life, full of appreciation, gratitude and thankfulness for the gifts that are being showered upon us every single day, well, perhaps we can take our foot off the gas a little bit and enjoy the scenery for a moment on this road trip called life.
I don't want to lose the original query that I posited here:
Does being truly contented with your life kill your ambition?
Upon examination, my answer is this: if your ambition and desire for more stuff and status are rooted in an intrinsic belief system of having to prove your worth, to always acquire more than your neighbor or to fill the deep, unyielding void of "not enoughness" inside of you, then yes, I think experiencing true contentment has the potential to kill those illusory pursuits. The "hungry ghost" inside of you can be (at least temporarily) put at bay with gratitude and thankfulness. Maybe you've never allowed yourself to feel those emotions before.
Conversely, if your ambition is anchored in a sense of true contribution, a feeling of genuinely wanting to support others on their life's journey, to contribute something beautiful, unique and soulful to this world before you die... well, I think those ambitious feelings are engendered with even more power, focus and verve by allowing contentment to pull you forward into the next unfolding mystery of life. You are pulled deeper into the infinite pool of possibilities with an open heart and open mind, not knowing what life wants for you.
“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.” - Socrates
Open heart. Open mind. If you're too attached to the plan and how you think things ought to be, you don't leave room for God/Universe/Spirit to work magic in your life. The problem is, you think you're in control.
I love the saying, "Want to make God laugh? Just tell him your plans." Let's just be honest with each other about this: our desire to control, predict and manipulate life is a reaction to fear. Fear that we won't get what we need. Fear that we'll be abandoned by life. Fear that God doesn't love us. Fear that we will be hungry and alone, shivering in the darkness with no one to love us. If we could just be more honest about WHY we want to try and control life... we could perhaps realize what a foolish endeavor this is and finally begin to loosen our grip on the reins.
Oh, and guess what?
You never had your hands on the reins in the first damn place.
“We are not rich by what we possess but by what we can do without.” - Immanuel Kant
If we can see and feel the richness of our lives by simplifying them, the wonders and blessings can become more apparent. One of the reasons I'm enamored with the minimalist movement and tiny house culture is that people have willfully chosen to live with less. Less stuff. Less bills. Less to take care of. Less burdensome, mindless consumption. The simplicity of these two movements are breathtaking because they fly in the face of a capitalist consumer culture that never takes a break from screaming "MORE! MORE! MORE!" in our face. It's a departure from the mantra, "bigger, better, faster, more, different" that so often hijacks our consciousness and drives us to endlessly crave and desire more stuff: more food, more money, more status, more drugs, more sex, more distraction. I mean, damn, it's a neverending chase if you choose that path.
“We need much less than we think we need.” - Maya Angelou
In this exploration of contentment and ambition, I think it's important to take inventory of what truly brings you joy, satisfaction and a feeling of "all is well" in your life. I actually made a two-page list this week of all the things in my life that bring me an innate sense of joyfulness and contentment. And you know what I found? All of those things are already present in my life. I need not look outside of myself or grasp at something under the illusion that it will fill any void.
Does that mean I don't want anything? That I don't desire more thing? Of course not. I don't believe you can kill desire any more than you can kill love. It's either there or it's not. And if it is there, I find that it's better to understand and surrender than resist. And, if I can surrender with a clear conscience and a heart full of love, I know that my desires will create even more goodness in my life and in the lives of the people that I choose to serve and love.
As we get clear about what truly motivates us, what scares us, what we most deeply desire, we can start to get real with ourselves and clear away the debris in our hearts.
If you've ever worked in a garden before, you know that it's a symbiotic relationship between the soil, the nutrients, the sun, water, plant and animal life. And, much like any ecosystem, I believe that our deeply rooted contentment and joyfulness can absolutely thrive and grow with ambition and desire in the garden of our soul.
But only if the soil is healthy and the garden is lovingly tended with patience, care and compassion.
So, my friend... I want to know, how is your garden doing these days? Leave a comment below to share.
Like what you just read? Give us a clap and click the green “Recommend” button below to help others find it. For more content like this, scroll down to follow.
To get more magical mojo on a weekly basis, sign up for the Wellevatr newsletter. When you do, you’ll receive the “you are Enough” PDF workbook as a thank you.
Keep in touch on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
This writing was originally posted on Wellevatr.com.
